Turns out, I found something about 15% through. I can't think why.Īnyway, after reading about the description of Christian's building (hello, first penis metaphor), I had to sit through the awful dialogue between these smarmy idiots and hope beyond hope that something, anything, would distract me enough to see me through to the end. Any time an author tries to sell me on a character's "charm" by waxing hormonal about how "ridiculously good-looking" he is, I snicker inwardly. What were my first impressions of Christian? Well. My first impressions of Ana were bad (deservedly so). Once he gave up, however, I had to travel the rest of the road alone. The only thing that made the first 4% of this book tolerable was the fact that I read it aloud to my younger brother, and his frequent commentary was amusingly distracting. Unwelcome, apparently because her friend is beautiful, even when she has the flu.? What a petty, jealous cunt. My suspicions were confirmed a few pages later when Ana admits that any "sympathy" she feels for her sick friend is "unwelcome". It was cemented that early, my deep, deep dislike for this moronic, simpering asshole. "I scowl with frustration at myself in the mirror." I knew from the very first line this wasn't going to be good. ![]() Most of the time he's serious, brooding, and threatening. The only time Ana seems to like him as a person is when he's being "lovable", and those times are few and far between. Apparently, his only redeeming qualities are, in this order his ridiculous good looks, his money, and his giant penis. Fuckin' really? She "flushes" constantly, and on several occasions referred to her hoo-hoo-naughty place as "down there."Ĭhristian is a misogynistic, self-loathing, abusive piece of shit. At one point, she thinks putting her hair in pigtails will keep her safe from Christian's lusty advances. I'm fairly certain there hasn't been a woman this naive since 'round about 1954. She's a virgin (of course) who's never taken any sexual interest in anyone before. She's insecure to the point of it being laughable, 'klutzy' (even though she only trips twice in the entire book), and a complete ditz. ![]() I did read that.Īna is just a giant mess of a human being. What in the hell just happened? Did I really read that? Oh, my god, I did.
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